What to do about an unfulfilled sex life?
Image: Soner Aktas
Here are nine problems that almost everyone knows from their relationship. Couples therapist Ankha Haucke reveals how you can help yourself.
There are feelings that come up again and again in a relationship. What’s the best way to deal with them?
“My sex life is not fulfilling”
Catherine Hummel
Editor in the “Life” department of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sunday newspaper.
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Most of the time, one of the partners wants sex more than the other. Behind this is often that someone wants to do things differently in bed and has the feeling: I’m not allowed to say that. But it’s very difficult to surrender and let go and say yes, if you can’t sometimes say: “I’d like it to be different.” Or: “I wouldn’t like that.” When couples have this problem, they often play like this a performance pressure that is often related to the availability of pornography, which gives us absurd standards of what sexuality should be like. This makes it harder for couples to say, “I want this and I don’t want that. I think that’s nice and that’s not.” They can work on that. Intimacy also means that I can show myself as I am. And not a facade from me. So you should ask yourself: what do I need to make me want to have sex with the other person? When have I ever been able to show myself unreservedly as I am?